Will Smith’s B!tch-Slap: Why Do We Care?
Like pretty much everyone else around the globe right now, I’ve spent the past week processing an exorbitant amount of Will Smith memes, ranging from the critically funny, to the painfully not. And while I, like most of us, am enjoying this little muppet show, I can’t help but wonder — why is this even a thing?
We pretend to live in this uber-equalitarian new, modern world. We pretend to have moved on from caveman era displays of so-called toxic masculinity, and yet, we’re still in two minds about this one simple brutish gesture.
What happened on Oscars night?
Comedian Chris Rock made an innocent allusion to Jada Pinkett Smith’s appearance, and Will Smith went all “toxic male” on his a**. Surely, one would’ve expected Mr. Smith to already be cancelled by the morning.
Smacking some dude as a means of “defending your woman” surely falls under the patriarchal, stereotype-y sins of the past that in this modern age we pretend to abhor. And yet, the Internet today is awash with articles about whether or not we should condemn Smith’s actions — why is that even a question?
By our modern, equal rights logic, the answer seems pretty clear cut — yes, we should. Personally, I don’t know if violence is the answer; but I do think it’s hardwired in our monkey brains to think that. So I get why Will Smith would decide to slap another man for disrespecting “his woman”.
However, violence is generally not condoned and even openly condemned by our society’s standards. Neither is the notion of “his woman”, by the way.
They might only be justifiable, through some absurd, if Chris Rock’s little jibe had been so appalling, and so inconsiderate, so as to merit blind, violent rage.
But it wasn’t.
As a society, we’ve developed a set of taboo topics that one should generally avoid in good-humored, polite company. If Rock had, for instance, insulted Smith’s mother, or made sexual allusions about Jada, then perhaps Smith’s reaction would’ve been more justifiable. Purely by our current social conventions.
But he didn’t. He simply made an allusion to Jada Pinkett Smith’s alopecia diagnosis, which the actress doesn’t seem to be bothered by, to begin with. Traditionally, when one loses one’s hair, they will wear a wig, or a fancy turban, or a funny hat. Do something to cover it up, if that’s what they want (not that I’m suggesting they should — Personally, I think Jada rocked that look). So perhaps she wasn’t so bothered by her new look.
Jada herself simply rolled her eyes at the little jibe — she didn’t seem to be mortally wounded by it. So what was the big deal for Will Smith?
Well, masculinity, as it happens.
The intensely macho on-screen persona that Smith has created seems to fall flat in real life.
Once again, this comes back to our societal conventions. We still believe that a man whose wife goes with other men is a “cuckold”, and thus loses his manly turf. Hence the need to reaffirm that turf with such a pointless, violent outburst… as punching an older, far slimmer man.
Bravo, really. What a great way to show you’re in charge. Will Smith is — obviously — a weak, tormented man, desperate to reclaim his standing in the eyes of society. But he goes about it the wrong way.
Personally, I couldn’t care less about whom either of the Smiths sleeps with. I don’t care, nor do I judge. Others do, though, and I wonder if that’s not why their boudoir situation went public to begin with?
I mean, if you don’t want someone else to comment on what or whom you sleep with, maybe you shouldn’t tell them. We’ve adopted this idea that people shouldn’t judge, as a general rule… except that’s not how people work.
Look how hungrily we lapped up this whole Smith-Rock b!tch-slap. We like to judge. And that’s what festivities like the Oscars are really for — we judge how celebs dress, we judge who shows up with whom, and we judge the merits of the winners.
Logically, people around you shouldn’t judge. If Will Smith had shared his predicament with a close friend, then he might reasonably expect said friend not to judge his or his wife’s arrangements.
However, they’ve shared their situation with the whole world, and the whole world is not Will Smith’s friend. He freely allowed this new role to come into existence — the role of the frustrated, betrayed, unmanly look-on while Jada goes off with much younger men.
It was Will’s choice. Nobody makes him stay married to her, if he doesn’t want to. Chris Rock certainly didn’t make him do it. So what’s Smith taking it out on him for?
Could this infamous slap be just another installment in the on-going celeb drama that occupies so much of our spare time? Could it have been rehearsed? (Surely.) Could it only be a scandal because someone wants it to become a scandal?
It must be. Because the solution here is clear. When a human being hits another human being, the police intervenes (or at the very least, security guards). As a society, we’ve agreed we do not condone violence, or for that matter, “toxic, patriarchal” outbursts like Will’s.
